My Promise to You

You are a little flower; I’ll never let you fade
When the sun burns you, I’ll give you shade
To face your life’s battles, I’ll be your blade,
In troubled waters, I’ll be your oar so you can wade.

Your life’s burden I shall help you bear
I’ll cover you and won’t let you wear
You are my love; I’ll look after you with care
Together we are an inseparable pair.

In winter I won’t let you freeze
In autumn I’ll shield you from the breeze
Summer’s dust won’t even make you sneeze
I’ll make Spring handle you gentler than cheese.

You and I shall always have the finest weather
Gentle breeze, gentler than the feather
At unkindest of the season’s we shall hang on together
Even after death we shall love each other.

- Hoopoe

I Love You

I love you because you know how to appreciate
I love you because you make my heart pulsate
I love you because my life you animate
I love you because you are my dream soul mate.

I love you for your tender affection
I love you for the courage at your affliction,
I love you because you are my inspiration
I love you for your aspirations.

I love you because you are so caring
I love you because your voice is so alluring
I love you because your touch is assuring
I love you because you are a complete darling.

I love you because babes like you if any are few
I love you because you quench my thirst better than any brew
I love you from deep within because you are true
Most of all, I love you because you are you.

- Hoopoe

My Love

Your smile makes the bird sing,
Your touch makes my heart ring,
Sometimes I wonder if you are an Angel without wings,
You be my Queen and I’ll be your loyal King.

You fill my senses with your presence,
You have become my life’s essence,
My sight, sound and touch hold you in eminence,
You are my smell and taste’s quintessence.

You have moved my soul and my heart,
Your love has made you my inseparable part,
You are the wheel if my life is a cart,
Without you, I am a pointless dart.

You flavour my life like spice,
You keep me cool under stress like ice,
Baby I need you as my life’s auspice,
As in wedlock, our lives we splice.

- Hoopoe

The Man I’ve Become

I was like a savage in my ramshackle den,
Eating like a pig from a manger in my pen,
You spotted me floating in a stagnant fen,
And chose me from the sea of a million men.

You were taken aback by my beastly manner,
Dazed by my funny faces during our first dinner,
Jolted by my clothes which resembled a banner,
I can still recall those eyes looking at me like a scanner.

Our relationship was of infallible allegiance,
But when my crudeness contrasted your elegance,
You realized for our bond it was a nuisance,
And for my improvement, you issued an ordinance.

Though I was stubborn and petulant,
With my every little refinement, you were jubilant,
For all your effort and edifying talent,
Today, I ponder if I’ve become your dream gallant.

- Hoopoe

About the poems

The upcoming posts will be a series of poems written by Hoopoe for me. It was during his voyages from November 2007 to March 2008, and then, from August 2008 to January 2009, that the poetic bug struck him; more so because I demanded that I needed some special gift for our wedding. So, he promised me that he would gift me something beautiful for our engagement. The best part, we never got officially engaged and nor our we married as on today, that is, 22nd March, 2010, however, he has already gifted me the poems cause he feels he can simply write no longer. He wishes to spend that time in another passion of his and that is photography.

We certainly are unmarried spouses, cause with his colleagues, he addresses me as his wife and so do they, even though they know we ain't married; and to a few of my friends, he is my fiance. So, Hoopoe decided that the wait was not worth it, he might as well present me the poems! He tells me that we better get married soon, or we might just forget that we have to marry and may continue living the way we do, till one fine day all of a sudden remembering that we haven't been married at all!

- Sweetness

Break Up

This was the mail written by Hoopoe to me on 27th August, 2007. A one of a kind of ‘break up’ that lasted for about 12 hours. Here it is. We had used our real names in the letter, however, for sake of anonymity, we have changed them while posting.

Good evening Sweetness,
Well baby, I was thinking about the conversation we had last night and woke up kept on wondering what had gone wrong and why did I become like this? I went back in time to the days when I met you and started liking you.

It’s a fact that I wanted you to be perfectly all right as soon as possible, and my heart and instincts always said that you would be okay.  I told you that I will go ahead with you as long as you keep working on your health. However, when I joined the ship, the news was not exactly what I expected it to be and the added pressure of your emotional state; started to question my faith and doubt on my instincts and heart. Doubting my heart was like doubting you because you lived in there.

Well, I still was okay, and still believed that you will become much better in another 2 yrs when I will be like 29 or 30. But, with my brother’s wedding at hand, I am under immense pressure to do the same; this was something I did not expect. Since I have come down, not a day has passed where I have not been told about or pressurized to look for a girl.

Now all of this has scared me, worried me and brought a change in me which in turn has put brakes on our relationship.

Baby, I faltered and I am ashamed of it. I also feel sad for what I have made you go through, even after knowing your emotional state.

Sweetness, I think we have to end our relationship, more for the reasons of my selfish benefit than anything else. It’s sad and hurting that I had to type this mail, but I just could not find words to say to you. My heart has stopped beating as I type these words. But like you said, “It’s not worth having a relationship, which has no trust and joy in it.”

Tears are flowing as I type this, I don’t think I can type anymore. I’m truly sorry Sweetness; I will pray to God that He help you to take this mail as comfortably as possible. Sweetness, I will always be your friend and will give my best that I can to support you.

Marriage is more about family than love I feel, probably God didn't want us together.

I hope I can muster courage to speak to you after this.

Bye
Love,
Hoopoe

An Ordinary couple with an Extraordinary kind of Love!

I have come to believe that Hoopoe’s love for me is extraordinary and so is our relationship!

You see, Hoopoe and I hail from different states, and to an extent, brought up in different cultures too.

Life hasn’t been easy for both of us! Financial crises forced Hoopoe to discontinue his studies and join the Merchant Navy, however, that hasn’t stopped him from acquiring all possible knowledge! I on the other hand graduated from UDCT (now UICT); couldn’t pursue research while in college, and higher education too remained a dream, because of my ailing health.

Let’s come to what is wrong with me; well, I suffer from SSA, diagnosed in 2001. It is similar to Rheumatoid Arthritis, an ailment, that many associate with ageing people; a debilitating disorder. This made my years of graduation terrible! I would travel for about 4 and a half hours everyday! Getting into the train was a nightmare! Climbing stairs an ordeal! While climbing the stairs of the railway bridge, many a times, I would pull myself up with aid of the railings, with tears flowing from my eyes, from pain and a hurt ego! The medication was horrible, and even worse were the timings I kept. I would leave from home at 6:30am, and sometimes return home only at about 11pm. Six hours of lab work with standing through the entire period made me completely stiff! Once, had an horrible experience of rolling down the stairs of the bridge but, came out unscratched! Miracle! Yes indeed!

As time passed by, loads of frustration started building up; that’s when an Angel walked into my life, my Hoopoe!

When I met Hoopoe, I was stiff and stuck, couldn’t walk comfortably, couldn’t raise my hands, couldn’t even comb my hair, wearing my own clothes was a herculean task, my neck hurt, my back hurt, sitting on the floor was a distant dream, couldn’t even bend to pick up things! And to crown it all, I was in loads of pain! Despite all of this, he still loved me.

Today, I have improved on some fronts while deteriorated on some others. But, still my Hoopoe stands strong beside me! The world (most of those who know we are in a relationship) thinks he is crazy, and so does his family. All of them try their best to convince him that life with me is a path to ruin for him! There cannot possibly be a life to enjoy with me other than pain and suffering all through!

Nobody understands the kind of love that we share, for all of them, it’s a fairytale that will end soon and have no future. People pity me and pity him too!

However, for Hoopoe and me, it is simple and innocent love for the other! Love to take care, love to stand by, despite all our differences, simply an unconditional love! Faith that there is a God who makes the ultimate decision! Hoopoe cares for me like I'm a little Princess, while sometimes, can be really stern and tough with me! He takes on all possible roles, from a husband to a father to a son, just for me!

This love when made public will certainly be the talk of the town! People calling me lucky and pitying Hoopoe for entering into such a bond! Many wonder, what is it, that Hoopoe finds in me, to have build a bond with me, since I have no beauty to fall for, nor do I come from an affluent family! But, what they don’t realize is, what Hoopoe thinks of me; this is what he told me, when I asked him about his choice of me among the zillion girls present in the world, “You are a girl with a golden heart; my heart says, you take care of her now, later, she will take care of you.” What more can I ask for?

- Sweetness

You Say You Hurt Me; But you Don't

Today, Sweetness is feeling very low, she is sobbing and crying, but, unable to reason as to why she is feeling this way.
Although she says it’s untrue, I know, it’s mostly because the way that I have treated her. I will explain it with a story.
Once there was a farmer, who found a treasure in his field. He was very happy and believed his miseries in life were finally over. He could have a big house, maids and all other comforts of life. But, soon he started to fear that, the moment he starts flaunting this treasure, his neighbours and relatives would take it away by hook or crook. So, he hid his treasure and was scared to flaunt it or use it. His miseries mounted, he had sleepless nights, but the fear always overwhelmed him. Never did he realize that with a bit of effort and planning, he could have very well used his treasure and lead a comfortable life. People would always try to get his treasure, but, he only would have to be careful and strong. Wouldn’t life be different for the farmer then?

Our story is something like this, I am the farmer and Sweetness is my treasure. I have hidden her away from most of the people I know, because, I am scared that she will be taken away from me. How stupid could I get!

As I write this, I remember an incident that happened 4 years ago. Sweetness and I had gone to a hill station on our first getaway. We had a lovely day, and after the sun set, we decided to return back home. I was driving; midway through our journey, we got held up in a traffic jam. It was pitch dark and headlights from the vehicles coming from the opposite direction were blinding me. At this stage, just out of no where, a herd of cattle came running into the traffic, and a huge bull hit my car! The impact was so severe that it cracked the windshield, dented the bonnet and caused several other minor damages. More than the damages, we were shocked and shaken. Sweetness did not know what hit us, she thought that I had hit a human! However, she still maintained her composure and did not utter a word; I can only imagine how shaken she was!

Once I realized that that bull was hardly hurt, I continued driving. However, the incident shook me badly and I was struggling to concentrate on driving. It was at this moment, Sweetness held my hand, touched my shoulders and said, “It’s okay, baby. It was not your fault; you could not see the bull. I know you are worried that the car is damaged, but the most important thing is that, we are okay. Drive slowly, until you feel better.”  These were the words of assurance, that I so longed for. No one had ever said “It’s okay” to me, whenever I was part of any incident or a minor mishap. It was always a blame game and fault finding session. Her words made me feel real good, loved and assured. That touch of sweetness I can still feel on my left hand, even after four years that have gone by. It is this touch that makes me confident and bold.

Sweetness, small little things by you have made a world of difference to me. This is just one among the thousands!

I love you baby, please don't cry, I feel horrible when you are sad... I love you my darling.

- Hoopoe

The Day I met Hoopoe for the First time!

It was a Saturday, 20th May, 2006. The Western Railway lines in Mumbai were having their scheduled mega block for repairs and maintenance. However, this awareness too did not deter us from meeting up on that day!

I woke up at 4:30am (barely slept for two hours), had my bath, tried beautifying myself minimally (I am still a novice on this front, I haven’t ever applied lipstick for myself, nor have I painted my nails!). At 6:00am, I try to devour some bananas, but, to no avail. I give up on the idea and at 7:30, I leave from home to meet Hoopoe at Bandra station, under the indicator.

Did I not mention about the Mega block? Well, that very block delayed me by two hours (very unlike me, because, I am very particular as far as punctuality goes). So, there was Hoopoe, anxiously waiting for me at the station, while I was stranded in the train; we then decide to put our precious time to better use by conversing with each other over the phone!

Finally, the train crawls into Bandra station, I alight from the train and, on the lookout for Hoopoe. There I see him, standing with a bright full blown smile across his face, and, a sight nothing short of a waterfall; perspiring profusely; completely wet from head to toe! I walk towards him, shake his hand, coupled with a light cheek to cheek kiss, with the words, “I have done my work, now, it’s your turn” (I promised him such a greeting when we meet for the first time).

Hoopoe looks at me and asks me if I have anything on mind for the day, and, I remind him that the first ten meets have to be arranged by him (that apart, since the first time we met, to this date, the poor guy only has been arranging all our outings!). So, after the crowd disperses, we take the bridge, Hoopoe offers me his hand to hold while climbing the stairs. I was touched by his gesture, but, I refused it for two reasons, one, I wasn’t yet ready to hold his hand in public, and secondly, the reason which I made known to him, “I will become dependent and get attached to you.”

He doesn’t tell me the itinerary for the day, all of it is kept as a surprise. We take the cab at Bandra station to IMAX, Wadala. While in the cab, I hand over the card that I made, as well as a perfume that I got as a gift for him. He sees the card, reads it, begins blushing (trust me, he blushes more than even I do), thanks me, and then, hands over his gift to me. He gifted me a pen drive; a very thoughtful gift indeed! Only months later, he told me, that, he had planned on gifting me a ring, but, it was his friend who made him see sense and asked him, “Are you planning to propose to her and scare her off right away, or do you wish to continue meeting her?”… hahahaha, my darling Hoopoe, it is so like him.

We reached our destination, booked tickets for Poseidon, to be watched in the dome theater; I was pretty uncomfortable with the cost of the tickets, more so, I’m not much of a movie buff!
Well, the entire time in the cab, right till the time we were allowed to enter the theater and even through the movie, I was feeling pretty conscious about myself, because through the corner of my eye, I could see Hoopoe constantly looking at me. Now, what I imagined was, once Hoopoe sees me, he will be quite dejected. However, Hoopoe not only told me, that, I am not as bad a sight as I had told him over our chats, but also, he kept looking at me with the greatest of care and anxiousness (hoping that I approve of him)! The kind of funny faces that Hoopoe was constantly making, probably, out of excitement, is something I will never forget. I kept looking around me to see if anybody found his expressions as weird as I did!

He made me speak to his best friend who was in Bangalore at that time and, also, reminded me to keep calling my home to inform them about my whereabouts; since I was traveling after a long break.

After the movie, we head towards a place for food. Hoopoe refused to make the place known to me. Suddenly, I see the cab taking the airport road, and I wonder, why on earth are we heading towards the airport?!?!? Just when I was to confirm the route with Hoopoe, I see the cab entering a gate; we are heading towards Hyatt!!!!!!! I was speechless; I mean, I am a dhabba kinds of girl, what will I do in a 5 star hotel!!!!!!!! I reluctantly get out of the cab, now, all the more conscious than ever before; complaining about the casual clothes that we were in for a place like this! Hoopoe had opted for a buffet meal at the Indian Restaurant, which, I believe, he regretted later, for I didn’t eat much, nor, did I let him eat! Infact, I was waiting for the time when we could just get out of the place!! I still get jittery when I think about our time at Hyatt! Today, too, I prefer the simple places over the elaborate ones.

We head to Bandra again, to do some shopping, a one of a kind shopping; window shopping within the shops!!!! He doesn’t wish to buy anything for himself, and, the same with me. After getting down to buying nothing, we head towards St. Peters Church for Mass. However, since we were not aware of the timings, we waited for two and a half hours for a one hour Mass! During the Eucharistic Celebration, I distinctly remember, praying to Jesus to seal our love and bond forever. The fact was that we were already in love with each other, even before we could meet in person!

The first day we met, will always be a memorable day for me; since then, so much has changed between us, but, all for the better; the sparkle and excitement in his eyes back then, is now replaced with such intense love, that, each time he looks at me, it strikes a chord within my heart, and makes me love him even more than the moment gone by!

It is like a dream, Hoopoe is my first and only love, and, I too am Hoopoe’s first and only love! We haven’t been in a relationship before, ours is the only experience that we have, which, certainly reduces a lot of the emotional baggage that past relationships could bring! We are Blessed! We have been through real tough times, however, we have just held on, for we couldn’t think about life without the other! We knew that we not only want, but also, need the other!

So, my Sweetheart Hoopoe, when will we be creating such memories again, any time soon?

- Sweetness

How Hoopoe and I got Introduced?

Our love story can definitely be attributed to today’s technology. Had communication facilities not been made so freely available, I wonder if Hoopoe and I would have been able to build up on our relationship the way we did!

It was in 2006, a week after Easter, Hoopoe came to Mumbai to attend some courses and answer exams. It was then, that, he felt the need of making female friends; maybe just to spend time or probably even on the lookout for a life partner (Hoopoe shared with me, that, generally when a guy is single, he looks for a lady who can probably be his potential soul mate), so began Hoopoe’s hunt on Orkut (at that time, the most widely used friendship site in Mumbai). I received a friend request from him and so did many other girls.

Well, I was surprised to see a friend request, because, not only did I have just about four to five friends on my list, but also, my profile didn’t even have a photograph! I was new to Orkut, and was not quite sure about how it functioned, neither was I too keen on befriending anybody. Back then, my career was a major concern to me, especially, the time that I was losing out on because of my ill health. Nevertheless, I visited Hoopoe’s profile; the first thing I did was a check on his communities and his friend’s list, to know if he is a decent guy! I checked out his profile photo and felt that he was some 36 year old guy, who probably was on the lookout for friends!

He sent me a message thanking me for accepting the invite and I acknowledged the same. And guess what, Hoopoe responds to the reply with a Belated Easter wish. In two days, he was writing long emails to me; I will not forget this one statement in his very second mail which was such a turn off; I quote, “Any way I would love to chat with you.. you seem to be very Interesting Person.. (and believe me.. I have not called many ppl interesting).” Inspite of this idiotic statement, we begun chatting and he asked all about me. I told him about my health and was very sure that when he realises the difficulty, he will lose interest.

But, No!!!! This guy was different; he cared, he wanted to know each and everything associated with my ailment; what, when, how, everything!! He was empathetic, caring, had a sound knowledge and was interested! He wanted to speak with me! After two days of chat, he asked me for my number and I gave it to him(which is so unlike me)! On the very first phone call, he chose to sing an MLTR number, “I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes, love is all around me and the feeling grows…” It was nice hearing him speak and sing, he sounded very nice over the phone, and the care was evident in his speech.

He was decent, caring, interested, an encyclopedia (his caring nature and knowledge made me fall for him). He could speak about anything; Astronomy, Physics, Anatomy, History, Technology… he was like a know it all.

Chats became long and went into the night, after the late night chats which would end about 12:00 or 1:00am, was the telephone conversations that would end at 3:00am to the longest one being from 2:00 to 5:30am. For one month, we literally lived with each other and technology helped us in being ‘virtual living mates’. Back then, I maintained a diary and I wrote about Hoopoe, not even 15 days had gone by since the time he sent me a friend request, but, I already felt I was in love. However, reality never leaves you, and I was aware that once Hoopoe met me in person, he would no longer want to continue being friends with me nor would want to keep it as pure and simple friendship.

We had not met each other, but, about three weeks after I accepted his friend request, Hoopoe told me that he felt he was having a 'crush' on me. I was elated.

Later on, in one of our conversations, I remember telling him, “I want to get rid of my little paunch (since I always dreamt about having a flat stomach and finally I do have one!), which makes me look like a few months pregnant”. Hoopoe’s reply, “No! that’s not a paunch, its our my kid in there!” Gosh! As I recount these incidents, I still blush, although, it occurred about four years ago! You can just about imagine how shocked and yet how thrilled I was reading those words! I don’t quite remember my reply, but, I’m sure, I was diplomatic.

Well, 22nd April, 2006, Hoopoe had sent me a friend request, and, we met for the first time, a month later, on 20th May, 2006. Our first meet in person is a story in itself.

So, Hoopoe, my Archangel, do you remember those long nights of talk and blushes?

- Sweetness

Eating habits… yup, mine is a disorder!

I don’t seem to understand how both my mother and Hoopoe gobble down their food without chewing it! Their action of putting food into their mouth is continuous, there isn’t any chewing time. However, my ma still takes some reasonable amount of time to finish off her food, but, Hoopoe finishes off his meal in five minutes flat, which would include second and third helpings too. You think I’m exaggerating!!!!!! Heck... No!!!!!!

I find it more appropriate to look at him eating his food, and then start with mine; else, when eating with him, I feel I’m slower than the slowest eating mammal existing on this planet! Contrary to my Hoopoe, I take one whole hour and a half to get done with my breakfast. I know that’s too much off time!

Well, I would like to believe that I have shrunken intestines, which make eating a little difficult for me. I have kept myself starving during my college education, repercussions of the same which I continue facing. You see, I weigh just 39 kgs (I know I’m terribly underweight) and, trying my best to eat well, so as to increase my weight. Now, that I feel I’m eating well, they say, I have a liver which is not functioning to its capacity, making assimilation of food difficult!! What am I supposed to do!!

Gosh!!! I tire of listening to the same thing all the time... “You have to eat well to get well, you need muscle strength to get your limbs moving”.

You can just about imagine the contrast, him; tall and plump at 86kgs, while me; short and skinny!

But that’s us! Hoopoe (my sack) and Sweetness!

- Sweetness

An Introduction

I am, let's call me, 'Sweetness', who will be co-authoring this blog with my beau, let's call him "Hoopoe". Chosen the names Sweetness and Hoopoe, cause that's how we address each other at those times, when we feel really connected. Using this blog more as a means of expressing ourselves, and, of course documenting times that we remember, both the good and the not so good ones, and sharing it with those who believe in improving their relationship with passing time. Ours sure short has been one hell of an emotional roller coaster ride; looking back, all of it made us better individuals, a better couple, and, laid the foundation of what we feel is true love.

A little about me, Sweetness, I am a home bird, trying to recover from a number of physical complications which, involves a lot of pain, thereby, being holed up inside the house for a considerable period of time. For the good part, I ain't on medications and using nature therapy to beat my problems; will write more about the same in the coming days. However, no balm is as soothing and healing as the love that I receive from my Hoopoe. I pray, a year and a half from now, and I should be fantastic, like my Hoopoe always keeps telling me with the greatest faith and confidence, "2010 will be your last year of suffering."

About my Hoopoe, well well well, the more I say about him, the less it is. He is my Archangel, whose work takes him to distant lands. He is all that a wife would desire in a man, considerate, loving, understanding, sensitive to my needs, empathetic, supportive, responsible and the list goes on endlessly. He is one of those who will go out of his way to accommodate his family.

Desperately waiting to be married to this love of mine, however, at this point, my health, and, his career is keeping us apart, but, I'm sure for not very long.. In any case, who can live apart from a person having an irresistible nature as his!!!

I love you my Beloved..........

-Sweetness