I Dislike this DISTANCE

You see, Hoopoe lives miles away from me, for a major part, ours has been a long distance relationship. I always thought that I would be good at maintaining such a relationship, but, little did I realize that these emotions would be the kind that I never handled before; the stomach lurching feeling, inability to breathe, feel like throwing up at the little sadness or hurt, that plagued our relationship.

Well, the awareness is always there, that we are two different people from two different cultures, with different opinions, and hence, bound to differ. Still, sometimes, those differences do cause more than a little tiff.

Now, we are nearly about four years into our relationship, yet, staying away from Hoopoe gets more difficult. Gosh! I thought, I would come to terms with living away from him and dealing with my emotions… how wrong I was!!!! I yearn for him more and more, and when in a bout of pain, then even more than before I need that soothing voice to float into my ears. Wait! Don’t get me wrong! I’m in no infatuated stage, because, when I’m irritated with him, the same voice can make me hit the roof!!!! I wonder if Hoopoe too feels the same when disturbed and I happen to be the reason!

Presently, Hoopoe doesn’t live all that far away from me, but, not very near too, which makes it nearly impossible to meet everyday. To crown it all, Tuesday, was one of those not so good days (more about it in the next post), I kind of handled my feelings badly, and may have hurt him. Hence, I want him to be with me, so that; I can hug him tight and tell him that I’m sorry. A touch speaks a million words!!!! This is one huge drawback of a long distance relationship, the feelings kind of linger for longer than needed, however, on a more positive side, we have kind of learnt, to directly deal with the issue rather than hurting the other, because, the emotions felt after lashing out are even worse than the original feelings. All said and done, I feel the need to hold him and look into his eyes and say that I am sorry.

As I write this, it’s time for him to call up, so I got to go; all my attention to the love of my life..

Hoopoe, come home soon…

- Sweetness