Break Up

This was the mail written by Hoopoe to me on 27th August, 2007. A one of a kind of ‘break up’ that lasted for about 12 hours. Here it is. We had used our real names in the letter, however, for sake of anonymity, we have changed them while posting.

Good evening Sweetness,
Well baby, I was thinking about the conversation we had last night and woke up kept on wondering what had gone wrong and why did I become like this? I went back in time to the days when I met you and started liking you.

It’s a fact that I wanted you to be perfectly all right as soon as possible, and my heart and instincts always said that you would be okay.  I told you that I will go ahead with you as long as you keep working on your health. However, when I joined the ship, the news was not exactly what I expected it to be and the added pressure of your emotional state; started to question my faith and doubt on my instincts and heart. Doubting my heart was like doubting you because you lived in there.

Well, I still was okay, and still believed that you will become much better in another 2 yrs when I will be like 29 or 30. But, with my brother’s wedding at hand, I am under immense pressure to do the same; this was something I did not expect. Since I have come down, not a day has passed where I have not been told about or pressurized to look for a girl.

Now all of this has scared me, worried me and brought a change in me which in turn has put brakes on our relationship.

Baby, I faltered and I am ashamed of it. I also feel sad for what I have made you go through, even after knowing your emotional state.

Sweetness, I think we have to end our relationship, more for the reasons of my selfish benefit than anything else. It’s sad and hurting that I had to type this mail, but I just could not find words to say to you. My heart has stopped beating as I type these words. But like you said, “It’s not worth having a relationship, which has no trust and joy in it.”

Tears are flowing as I type this, I don’t think I can type anymore. I’m truly sorry Sweetness; I will pray to God that He help you to take this mail as comfortably as possible. Sweetness, I will always be your friend and will give my best that I can to support you.

Marriage is more about family than love I feel, probably God didn't want us together.

I hope I can muster courage to speak to you after this.

Bye
Love,
Hoopoe