My Promise to You

You are a little flower; I’ll never let you fade
When the sun burns you, I’ll give you shade
To face your life’s battles, I’ll be your blade,
In troubled waters, I’ll be your oar so you can wade.

Your life’s burden I shall help you bear
I’ll cover you and won’t let you wear
You are my love; I’ll look after you with care
Together we are an inseparable pair.

In winter I won’t let you freeze
In autumn I’ll shield you from the breeze
Summer’s dust won’t even make you sneeze
I’ll make Spring handle you gentler than cheese.

You and I shall always have the finest weather
Gentle breeze, gentler than the feather
At unkindest of the season’s we shall hang on together
Even after death we shall love each other.

- Hoopoe

I Love You

I love you because you know how to appreciate
I love you because you make my heart pulsate
I love you because my life you animate
I love you because you are my dream soul mate.

I love you for your tender affection
I love you for the courage at your affliction,
I love you because you are my inspiration
I love you for your aspirations.

I love you because you are so caring
I love you because your voice is so alluring
I love you because your touch is assuring
I love you because you are a complete darling.

I love you because babes like you if any are few
I love you because you quench my thirst better than any brew
I love you from deep within because you are true
Most of all, I love you because you are you.

- Hoopoe

My Love

Your smile makes the bird sing,
Your touch makes my heart ring,
Sometimes I wonder if you are an Angel without wings,
You be my Queen and I’ll be your loyal King.

You fill my senses with your presence,
You have become my life’s essence,
My sight, sound and touch hold you in eminence,
You are my smell and taste’s quintessence.

You have moved my soul and my heart,
Your love has made you my inseparable part,
You are the wheel if my life is a cart,
Without you, I am a pointless dart.

You flavour my life like spice,
You keep me cool under stress like ice,
Baby I need you as my life’s auspice,
As in wedlock, our lives we splice.

- Hoopoe

The Man I’ve Become

I was like a savage in my ramshackle den,
Eating like a pig from a manger in my pen,
You spotted me floating in a stagnant fen,
And chose me from the sea of a million men.

You were taken aback by my beastly manner,
Dazed by my funny faces during our first dinner,
Jolted by my clothes which resembled a banner,
I can still recall those eyes looking at me like a scanner.

Our relationship was of infallible allegiance,
But when my crudeness contrasted your elegance,
You realized for our bond it was a nuisance,
And for my improvement, you issued an ordinance.

Though I was stubborn and petulant,
With my every little refinement, you were jubilant,
For all your effort and edifying talent,
Today, I ponder if I’ve become your dream gallant.

- Hoopoe

I Want To

Walk hand in hand with you on a beach,
Sit under a tree and share a single peach.

Feel the wind on serene mountain tips,
Look into your eyes and never let the moment slip.

Watch you wear your white dress of lace,
Feel your silky hair brush across my face.

Hear your breathe as on my lap you slumber,
Spend nights of rapture in our warm cosy chamber.

Play in the rain and watch you drench wet,
Sit across the valley and view the sun set.

Hear me read a novel or a romantic book,
Sit on my lap and feed me the recipe you cook.

Camp for a night on the bank of a river,
Warm your body with mine, when at night you shiver.

When I have to dream or have to make a wish,
These are the things I don’t want to miss.

- Hoopoe

Waiting

In the middle of no where, I was all alone
Life was soundless music, it was a monotone
It turned around, when I had you as my own
I was happier than a dog that had his bone.

This blank canvas finally had a picture
My life was getting a firmer structure
A new colour, shade and a texture
Honey I want you as my life’s fixture.

You showed me how to keep a smile
Together I know we can walk a billion mile
Supporting each other like a strong pile
With you I shall soon walk the aisle.

I am waiting for the day we can marry
Lift you up and in my arms I shall carry
You are my Princess and gorgeous Fairy
I want you as only mine, my dearie.

- Hoopoe

Tribulation of Love

When I was down, you lifted me with your word
You made me soar higher than the bird.
I let my words trample you like the Mongol horde,
Played with your emotions as if it were a dart board.

I’ve never even thanked you for your letters,
Scores of them that have made me feel better,
So romantic, that I’m unable to read them without a stutter,
Words so precious, that they are beyond utter.

I never kissed you for the cards you drew,
The efforts you put, I never had a clue.
As with time when our love grew,
I realized your love is so pure and true.

I can’t end a chat without a fight,
My actions I know are more painful that a ferocious bite.
But, you still love and hug me tight,
You are my love, my angel in white.

- Hoopoe

My Macrocosm

There is a lonely star in the sky
If tonight I had the wings to fly
To pluck that star I would try
It reminds me of the teardrops when you cry.

The wind tells me that you are here
When it blows across my face I hear
Your soft whispers in my ear
And the words, “I love you, my dear.”

The sun comes out and wipes out the dark,
Birds fly out and they sing as I hark,
It reminds me of our time at the park
Your little games and those fun filled larks.

You’re so wild and carefree
Just like this nature I see
And when I start missing thee
Mother Nature brings you to me.

- Hoopoe

Colour of Life

Standing and staring at the vast empty sea,
Thinking of you and your kisses to me,
I’m missing you and long to be with thee,
Come here baby, for our love is an evergreen tree.

That flower you gave me from the wild country heather,
Reminds me of you in that black dress of leather,
Thinking of all the times we have spent together,
Never mind the sun or the cold winter weather.

Sitting on top of that big black boulder,
I can still feel your head resting on my shoulder,
When the wind blew hard and you felt colder,
The Lord whispered to me, “She’s yours, hug and hold her”.

As my boat takes me away from you,
The sky separates us with her clouds and blue,
Weather hazes you with mist, rain and dew,
But nothing can fade our love colour or hue.

- Hoopoe

(This poem is based on certain moments that we have shared together.
In 2006, on our way to Lonavala/ Kandhala, Sweetness broke off small yellow flowers and gifted it to me, I still have them with me, though they are dried up now. She was in a black outfit then.
In 2008, we were in Goa; at Anjuna beach, sitting on a boulder and watching the waves lash the shore and waiting for the sunset. That's when the cool breeze was making Sweetness shiver in the cold).

Baby Eyes

I wonder what I saw in those eyes,
Staring into them, time just flies
To caress them tenderly my soul tries,
And it ends up with a surprise.

When they shed those glowing tears for me,
I wonder why those dew drops were made to be.
When I want to run, when I plan to flee,
The love in them never lets me free.

When on those eyes, I plant a kiss,
Even for a fortune I’ll never miss.
It’s less pleasure and more a bliss,
Want it for a lifetime is my only wish.

As my ship docks on a quay,
Far from her by an ocean and a bay,
When time and distance holds the sway,
I know those eyes can’t be far away.

- Hoopoe

About the poems

The upcoming posts will be a series of poems written by Hoopoe for me. It was during his voyages from November 2007 to March 2008, and then, from August 2008 to January 2009, that the poetic bug struck him; more so because I demanded that I needed some special gift for our wedding. So, he promised me that he would gift me something beautiful for our engagement. The best part, we never got officially engaged and nor our we married as on today, that is, 22nd March, 2010, however, he has already gifted me the poems cause he feels he can simply write no longer. He wishes to spend that time in another passion of his and that is photography.

We certainly are unmarried spouses, cause with his colleagues, he addresses me as his wife and so do they, even though they know we ain't married; and to a few of my friends, he is my fiance. So, Hoopoe decided that the wait was not worth it, he might as well present me the poems! He tells me that we better get married soon, or we might just forget that we have to marry and may continue living the way we do, till one fine day all of a sudden remembering that we haven't been married at all!

- Sweetness

Regretful Sorrow

You stand so strong by me
Your love overflows for  me
You are always concerned about me
And still all I do is hurt you.

You always wish to be by me
You would do anything for me
You always talk good about me
And still all I do is hurt you.

You have changed you and me
You have made me and you into us
You now always do what is best for us
And still all I do is hurt you.

I made you sad,
I made you cry,
I didn't give you a chance even when you said you'll try
I spoke and spoke
And you listened through
All the time while I was stabbing you.

I felt the pain
And the tears from you
But, I couldn't stop
Even though I was hurting you.

I'm sorry my love
But, know this is true
That I truly love you and only you!

- Sweetness

Pledging his love

Poem written by Hoopoe to me on 23rd October, 2007

I give you a piece of my heart
To remind you I'm here for you...
No matter if we are far apart,
Our love will always be true.

I give you a piece of my soul
A part of me reserved for you..
Hold it dearly and don't let it go,
No matter what you do!

Whether it's a bright and happy day,
Or you're troubled and struggling to smile...
Remember this special piece of my heart
That reaches you across the miles!

I will always be there for you!

- Hoopoe

Break Up

This was the mail written by Hoopoe to me on 27th August, 2007. A one of a kind of ‘break up’ that lasted for about 12 hours. Here it is. We had used our real names in the letter, however, for sake of anonymity, we have changed them while posting.

Good evening Sweetness,
Well baby, I was thinking about the conversation we had last night and woke up kept on wondering what had gone wrong and why did I become like this? I went back in time to the days when I met you and started liking you.

It’s a fact that I wanted you to be perfectly all right as soon as possible, and my heart and instincts always said that you would be okay.  I told you that I will go ahead with you as long as you keep working on your health. However, when I joined the ship, the news was not exactly what I expected it to be and the added pressure of your emotional state; started to question my faith and doubt on my instincts and heart. Doubting my heart was like doubting you because you lived in there.

Well, I still was okay, and still believed that you will become much better in another 2 yrs when I will be like 29 or 30. But, with my brother’s wedding at hand, I am under immense pressure to do the same; this was something I did not expect. Since I have come down, not a day has passed where I have not been told about or pressurized to look for a girl.

Now all of this has scared me, worried me and brought a change in me which in turn has put brakes on our relationship.

Baby, I faltered and I am ashamed of it. I also feel sad for what I have made you go through, even after knowing your emotional state.

Sweetness, I think we have to end our relationship, more for the reasons of my selfish benefit than anything else. It’s sad and hurting that I had to type this mail, but I just could not find words to say to you. My heart has stopped beating as I type these words. But like you said, “It’s not worth having a relationship, which has no trust and joy in it.”

Tears are flowing as I type this, I don’t think I can type anymore. I’m truly sorry Sweetness; I will pray to God that He help you to take this mail as comfortably as possible. Sweetness, I will always be your friend and will give my best that I can to support you.

Marriage is more about family than love I feel, probably God didn't want us together.

I hope I can muster courage to speak to you after this.

Bye
Love,
Hoopoe

Unsure Moments (Letters to each other)

We would like to share with you the letters that we exchanged on 23rd May, 2006, just three days after we met each other for the first time in person. Ofcourse, we had used our actual names in the letter, however, for sake of anonymity and our personal level of comfort, we have changed the names while posting in the blog.

This was what I wrote to Hoopoe:

Dear Hoopoe,
Don't know how to start off, but there is something that is disturbing me real badly, and I guess you need to know about it.
I kept discouraging you all the time before we met, saying that, when you meet me, you will realize the condition that I am in. But, I guess nothing changed, and I admire you for it. 
Hoopoe, you know the way I think and feel. You know that I have never felt love for any guy before. It maybe so, cause I have created a mental block in my head that I can't fall in love or get attached to a person, unless I get well.
You say that I speak endlessly to you and that is one of the sign of having a crush... Well, I can't contradict you, cause I am really unaware of that feeling. But, as per me, it’s the joy of having a wonderful friend whom I can speak to just about anything and that makes me really happy.
I know we both are not committed to each other and definitely have the freedom to go our own way, but I am aware about your feelings, especially, since you have made them known to me. But, I do wish that you keep them in check and, do not let them intensify further because, we do not know what the future holds for us. We have known each other for just a month. So, it will be much easier to curb these feelings right now. 
I know that this mail will hurt you real bad. However, the past two days, I am feeling very guilty, I feel I am encouraging you wrongly and I don't know how, so I finally decided to write a mail to you and let you know.  I am very very sorry if I have hurt you, but, I needed you to know how I feel.
I promise to be your good friend forever, just the way we are, but, I can't assure you more than that... I have literally spent sleepless nights, and I felt it's time I tell you.
Take care dear...
Love,
Sweetness

The following was Hoopoe’s reply to me:

Dearest Sweetness,
 I felt very nice that you were open about your thoughts. Well, I got to say a few things too darling, hope you understand it, else, I’ll talk to you about it...
1. I really like your concern towards me and my feelings, you are so un-selfish, I’m touched that you were only concerned about my feelings, not even giving a thought about yours..
2. Dear, the mail in no way has hurt me, but reinforced my respect towards you.  I like you; because you are very honest, and the one and only way that you can hurt me is by lying.
3. Darling, was it because I hugged you that you felt guilty of encouraging me? Please don’t think that way. I had a feeling that you were my doll.
4. I very well know that you will not commit to anyone till your health improves. I too not ready to commit to any one for another 2 years.
5. I will be your best friend forever; will never go beyond that atleast for the time being. What the future holds for us is for God to decide. We have time on our hands, let’s see what it does to our bonding, let it be time tested too.
6. Well darling, you don’t forget that you too are a human being, a girl. You too have ambitions, future visions, desires, goals etc. and you have been suppressing it for very long. Well, I really wish you don’t do that..
7.  You are a girl with a golden heart, a very rare find indeed. It’s just not possible not to love someone like you. So for now please sleep well. Don’t worry about anything for a few more years, and, if things are good; in time to come, I’ll kidnap and marry you. Well, if I cant do tat, I’ll always be there for you, as your best friend like I am now.
8. Well, before I end, I'm here all ears for you.  My mind totally belongs to you sweetheart and all my thoughts are yours because I’m sure, I can’t find a person more trustworthy than you.
Bye darling
Love you always
Hoopoe

An Ordinary couple with an Extraordinary kind of Love!

I have come to believe that Hoopoe’s love for me is extraordinary and so is our relationship!

You see, Hoopoe and I hail from different states, and to an extent, brought up in different cultures too.

Life hasn’t been easy for both of us! Financial crises forced Hoopoe to discontinue his studies and join the Merchant Navy, however, that hasn’t stopped him from acquiring all possible knowledge! I on the other hand graduated from UDCT (now UICT); couldn’t pursue research while in college, and higher education too remained a dream, because of my ailing health.

Let’s come to what is wrong with me; well, I suffer from SSA, diagnosed in 2001. It is similar to Rheumatoid Arthritis, an ailment, that many associate with ageing people; a debilitating disorder. This made my years of graduation terrible! I would travel for about 4 and a half hours everyday! Getting into the train was a nightmare! Climbing stairs an ordeal! While climbing the stairs of the railway bridge, many a times, I would pull myself up with aid of the railings, with tears flowing from my eyes, from pain and a hurt ego! The medication was horrible, and even worse were the timings I kept. I would leave from home at 6:30am, and sometimes return home only at about 11pm. Six hours of lab work with standing through the entire period made me completely stiff! Once, had an horrible experience of rolling down the stairs of the bridge but, came out unscratched! Miracle! Yes indeed!

As time passed by, loads of frustration started building up; that’s when an Angel walked into my life, my Hoopoe!

When I met Hoopoe, I was stiff and stuck, couldn’t walk comfortably, couldn’t raise my hands, couldn’t even comb my hair, wearing my own clothes was a herculean task, my neck hurt, my back hurt, sitting on the floor was a distant dream, couldn’t even bend to pick up things! And to crown it all, I was in loads of pain! Despite all of this, he still loved me.

Today, I have improved on some fronts while deteriorated on some others. But, still my Hoopoe stands strong beside me! The world (most of those who know we are in a relationship) thinks he is crazy, and so does his family. All of them try their best to convince him that life with me is a path to ruin for him! There cannot possibly be a life to enjoy with me other than pain and suffering all through!

Nobody understands the kind of love that we share, for all of them, it’s a fairytale that will end soon and have no future. People pity me and pity him too!

However, for Hoopoe and me, it is simple and innocent love for the other! Love to take care, love to stand by, despite all our differences, simply an unconditional love! Faith that there is a God who makes the ultimate decision! Hoopoe cares for me like I'm a little Princess, while sometimes, can be really stern and tough with me! He takes on all possible roles, from a husband to a father to a son, just for me!

This love when made public will certainly be the talk of the town! People calling me lucky and pitying Hoopoe for entering into such a bond! Many wonder, what is it, that Hoopoe finds in me, to have build a bond with me, since I have no beauty to fall for, nor do I come from an affluent family! But, what they don’t realize is, what Hoopoe thinks of me; this is what he told me, when I asked him about his choice of me among the zillion girls present in the world, “You are a girl with a golden heart; my heart says, you take care of her now, later, she will take care of you.” What more can I ask for?

- Sweetness

Conflict Management in a Relationship! (MPC VI)

So we were taught at the Marriage Preparation Course! Luckily, for me and Hoopoe, we learnt it the hard way and were already implementing the same. Thanks to Fr. Deepak and my therapy sessions; reading and working on the book, "Loving Choices" , which dealt with healing the hurting inner child inside each of us, emotional baggage etc.

1. The first and foremost thing told to us was to use “I” statements when confronting our loved one or expressing ourselves, instead of the more commonly used “You”.

Eg.’s: “I felt hurt when you said so and so to me”
And NOT.. the classic.. “You hurt me”

I feel sad when you speak in that tone or I get angry
And NOT… You make me sad or You make me angry.

2. Speak what you feel and don’t lecture the person on an issue.
This is the part where 99% of us err, we speak about everything, except, what we are feeling! However, to say what we feel, we need to recognize what we are feeling. Fear, hurt, sadness, anger, loneliness.

Take smoking as an example as the issue concerned.
Say what you actually feel, like “ I feel scared that I will lose you to terrible diseases, I fear I will have to live without you, I’m scared to live alone…”
Rather than …”Smoking is harmful, it will destroy your lungs. I guess you don’t love me enough, else, how can you smoke, even when I tell you not to. You don’t care about yourself and me too. Why don’t you stop smoking…..”

Do you notice the difference in the communication style? I guess you do.

3. Have control over what you say, never say things in a fit of anger or when emotionally clouded. Become calm and then tackle the situation.

When angry, it’s natural to say things which, later on, we wish we could have avoided, like
“I hate you”
“I know you don’t love me like before.”
“You were concerned before, now it doesn’t even bother you.”
“Earlier, you would always call, now you don’t care.”
“You don’t understand me any more, other things are more important to you…”

In many cases, these statements are far from being true; it just takes, a little understanding of ourselves to sort this out.

Calm yourself down and then deal with the issue. Issues will always come and go, some will have a solution and some just won’t. You need to know what’s important, the issue or your relationship?

One person winning and the other losing in a relationship, means the relationship has lost. The only solution is when both partners win. Such is a compromise that needs to be struck. A win-win solution should always be sought for. Brainstorm for various possibilities and you will find a way.
Nothing is easy at first, but, over a period of time, it just gets easier.

5. Focus on the issue and not on the irrelevant stuff. Don’t try to hurt the opposite person to score a point over him/ her. It leads no where.

6. Don’t bring up the past. The present is what is important.

7. See to it that the remote control of your emotions is in your own hand, don’t hand it over to anyone, not even to your partner! You are responsible for the emotions you experience. When things are getting tough, know to press the pause button and continue your discussion at a later time or date! Don’t sap all your energy over the issue, no matter, how important it maybe. You, your partner and the relationship you share is far more important.

8. At the end of the day, no matter how tough it is, tell your partner that you love him/ her. Apologise for having one of those not nice days, although, you may not have been the one at fault. Promise to deal with the same at the first given opportunity, and stick to it. Thank your partner for sharing this time with you even on this not nice day. These simple words, keeps just the issue at hand in focus, and disperses away the rest of the emotional baggage. It helps you sleep with a clear mind. This takes a lot of practice. But, trust us, many of the issues seems trivial when sorted out with a clear mind.

When Hoopoe and I met, we were a total mess; I would cry days on end, sometimes simply hold onto anger, because I wanted to be pampered, and unfortunately, things would take an ugly turn. It damaged my health even further, my self esteem and everything that made me. I was irritable, indifferent to my family members for no fault of theirs, sat quietly in my own shell, sulking, with tears dropping, and my mind replaying 24/7 non-stop, about, what Hoopoe said and what I said; thinking about all the past hurts and the ingratitude etc etc.. However, with practice, a lot has changed now.

Last but not the least, they say, “At every moment, you are either contributing or contaminating your relationship, it is always one of the two!” You know how you would like your relationship to be! So be it by thoughts, words or actions, always seek to contribute towards the beautiful relationship you share!

Beautiful relationships are not an outcome of a single day’s work, it requires constant attention, monitoring and nurturing. It has to be constantly worked up on. If you see love and the so called chemistry in a couple even after years of marriage; remember, all that it takes is putting your partner first before your ego, by that I don’t mean being a doormat; it just needs humility and the determination to see hard times through, with love!

Sealing our Love

We apologise to all our readers for editing this post on 23rd March, 2010. For our personal reasons, we felt the need to do so. Thank you always for the encouragement and wishes.

It was during mid June 2006, Hoopoe and I knew that we were in love with the other, but, refused to acknowledge it openly. The “love you” was ofcourse passed, however, I’m the kinds, to whom a ‘love you’ comes very naturally. I can look at a bird and say ‘love you’, or a doggie wearing a so called ‘puppy face’, or even say it to my good friends too. However, the difference to me lies in the word “I”, “I love you”! That’s different! Did I tell Hoopoe that “I” loved him, I’m not quite sure?

It was a Saturday, I travelled quite some distance to spend time with Hoopoe and would be spending the weekend with him. My family trusted us; we were responsible enough for ourselves, and, to this day, we haven’t broken each other’s or my parent’s trust; more so, because, we never wanted to do anything at the cost of the other being uncomfortable! Me being the conservative kinds on this front, made most of it difficult for Hoopoe, and, probably, continue making it difficult for him!

We roamed the malls, watched Da Vinci Code and had loads of fun! I didn’t enjoy the drive at night, because, like always, I found the glare of the headlights blinding! Why don’t people dip their lights and drive!

We gobbled down some food and freshened up. That's when Hoopoe played my Kenny G favourite!

He asked me for a dance, and both of us with two left feet are lost in another world.


After an hour or so, my back couldn't take it any longer, and I told him that we needed to sleep. I threw myself on the bed nearest at hand. Hoopoe saw me to sleep and fell asleep himself.

We had a lovely day, sealing our love with the other!

- Sweetness

You Say You Hurt Me; But you Don't

Today, Sweetness is feeling very low, she is sobbing and crying, but, unable to reason as to why she is feeling this way.
Although she says it’s untrue, I know, it’s mostly because the way that I have treated her. I will explain it with a story.
Once there was a farmer, who found a treasure in his field. He was very happy and believed his miseries in life were finally over. He could have a big house, maids and all other comforts of life. But, soon he started to fear that, the moment he starts flaunting this treasure, his neighbours and relatives would take it away by hook or crook. So, he hid his treasure and was scared to flaunt it or use it. His miseries mounted, he had sleepless nights, but the fear always overwhelmed him. Never did he realize that with a bit of effort and planning, he could have very well used his treasure and lead a comfortable life. People would always try to get his treasure, but, he only would have to be careful and strong. Wouldn’t life be different for the farmer then?

Our story is something like this, I am the farmer and Sweetness is my treasure. I have hidden her away from most of the people I know, because, I am scared that she will be taken away from me. How stupid could I get!

As I write this, I remember an incident that happened 4 years ago. Sweetness and I had gone to a hill station on our first getaway. We had a lovely day, and after the sun set, we decided to return back home. I was driving; midway through our journey, we got held up in a traffic jam. It was pitch dark and headlights from the vehicles coming from the opposite direction were blinding me. At this stage, just out of no where, a herd of cattle came running into the traffic, and a huge bull hit my car! The impact was so severe that it cracked the windshield, dented the bonnet and caused several other minor damages. More than the damages, we were shocked and shaken. Sweetness did not know what hit us, she thought that I had hit a human! However, she still maintained her composure and did not utter a word; I can only imagine how shaken she was!

Once I realized that that bull was hardly hurt, I continued driving. However, the incident shook me badly and I was struggling to concentrate on driving. It was at this moment, Sweetness held my hand, touched my shoulders and said, “It’s okay, baby. It was not your fault; you could not see the bull. I know you are worried that the car is damaged, but the most important thing is that, we are okay. Drive slowly, until you feel better.”  These were the words of assurance, that I so longed for. No one had ever said “It’s okay” to me, whenever I was part of any incident or a minor mishap. It was always a blame game and fault finding session. Her words made me feel real good, loved and assured. That touch of sweetness I can still feel on my left hand, even after four years that have gone by. It is this touch that makes me confident and bold.

Sweetness, small little things by you have made a world of difference to me. This is just one among the thousands!

I love you baby, please don't cry, I feel horrible when you are sad... I love you my darling.

- Hoopoe

The Day I met Hoopoe for the First time!

It was a Saturday, 20th May, 2006. The Western Railway lines in Mumbai were having their scheduled mega block for repairs and maintenance. However, this awareness too did not deter us from meeting up on that day!

I woke up at 4:30am (barely slept for two hours), had my bath, tried beautifying myself minimally (I am still a novice on this front, I haven’t ever applied lipstick for myself, nor have I painted my nails!). At 6:00am, I try to devour some bananas, but, to no avail. I give up on the idea and at 7:30, I leave from home to meet Hoopoe at Bandra station, under the indicator.

Did I not mention about the Mega block? Well, that very block delayed me by two hours (very unlike me, because, I am very particular as far as punctuality goes). So, there was Hoopoe, anxiously waiting for me at the station, while I was stranded in the train; we then decide to put our precious time to better use by conversing with each other over the phone!

Finally, the train crawls into Bandra station, I alight from the train and, on the lookout for Hoopoe. There I see him, standing with a bright full blown smile across his face, and, a sight nothing short of a waterfall; perspiring profusely; completely wet from head to toe! I walk towards him, shake his hand, coupled with a light cheek to cheek kiss, with the words, “I have done my work, now, it’s your turn” (I promised him such a greeting when we meet for the first time).

Hoopoe looks at me and asks me if I have anything on mind for the day, and, I remind him that the first ten meets have to be arranged by him (that apart, since the first time we met, to this date, the poor guy only has been arranging all our outings!). So, after the crowd disperses, we take the bridge, Hoopoe offers me his hand to hold while climbing the stairs. I was touched by his gesture, but, I refused it for two reasons, one, I wasn’t yet ready to hold his hand in public, and secondly, the reason which I made known to him, “I will become dependent and get attached to you.”

He doesn’t tell me the itinerary for the day, all of it is kept as a surprise. We take the cab at Bandra station to IMAX, Wadala. While in the cab, I hand over the card that I made, as well as a perfume that I got as a gift for him. He sees the card, reads it, begins blushing (trust me, he blushes more than even I do), thanks me, and then, hands over his gift to me. He gifted me a pen drive; a very thoughtful gift indeed! Only months later, he told me, that, he had planned on gifting me a ring, but, it was his friend who made him see sense and asked him, “Are you planning to propose to her and scare her off right away, or do you wish to continue meeting her?”… hahahaha, my darling Hoopoe, it is so like him.

We reached our destination, booked tickets for Poseidon, to be watched in the dome theater; I was pretty uncomfortable with the cost of the tickets, more so, I’m not much of a movie buff!
Well, the entire time in the cab, right till the time we were allowed to enter the theater and even through the movie, I was feeling pretty conscious about myself, because through the corner of my eye, I could see Hoopoe constantly looking at me. Now, what I imagined was, once Hoopoe sees me, he will be quite dejected. However, Hoopoe not only told me, that, I am not as bad a sight as I had told him over our chats, but also, he kept looking at me with the greatest of care and anxiousness (hoping that I approve of him)! The kind of funny faces that Hoopoe was constantly making, probably, out of excitement, is something I will never forget. I kept looking around me to see if anybody found his expressions as weird as I did!

He made me speak to his best friend who was in Bangalore at that time and, also, reminded me to keep calling my home to inform them about my whereabouts; since I was traveling after a long break.

After the movie, we head towards a place for food. Hoopoe refused to make the place known to me. Suddenly, I see the cab taking the airport road, and I wonder, why on earth are we heading towards the airport?!?!? Just when I was to confirm the route with Hoopoe, I see the cab entering a gate; we are heading towards Hyatt!!!!!!! I was speechless; I mean, I am a dhabba kinds of girl, what will I do in a 5 star hotel!!!!!!!! I reluctantly get out of the cab, now, all the more conscious than ever before; complaining about the casual clothes that we were in for a place like this! Hoopoe had opted for a buffet meal at the Indian Restaurant, which, I believe, he regretted later, for I didn’t eat much, nor, did I let him eat! Infact, I was waiting for the time when we could just get out of the place!! I still get jittery when I think about our time at Hyatt! Today, too, I prefer the simple places over the elaborate ones.

We head to Bandra again, to do some shopping, a one of a kind shopping; window shopping within the shops!!!! He doesn’t wish to buy anything for himself, and, the same with me. After getting down to buying nothing, we head towards St. Peters Church for Mass. However, since we were not aware of the timings, we waited for two and a half hours for a one hour Mass! During the Eucharistic Celebration, I distinctly remember, praying to Jesus to seal our love and bond forever. The fact was that we were already in love with each other, even before we could meet in person!

The first day we met, will always be a memorable day for me; since then, so much has changed between us, but, all for the better; the sparkle and excitement in his eyes back then, is now replaced with such intense love, that, each time he looks at me, it strikes a chord within my heart, and makes me love him even more than the moment gone by!

It is like a dream, Hoopoe is my first and only love, and, I too am Hoopoe’s first and only love! We haven’t been in a relationship before, ours is the only experience that we have, which, certainly reduces a lot of the emotional baggage that past relationships could bring! We are Blessed! We have been through real tough times, however, we have just held on, for we couldn’t think about life without the other! We knew that we not only want, but also, need the other!

So, my Sweetheart Hoopoe, when will we be creating such memories again, any time soon?

- Sweetness

Marriage Preparation Course V

In the entire course of the MPC, creating a vision for our Marriage and praying over the same during the Eucharistic Celebration was the defining moment for me.

We needed to create a vision for our marriage, as well as state three practical steps that we would take in the course of our everyday life, in order to make it a reality.

Our vision and steps are as follows:
“To constantly grow in a deep intimate relationship with each other and create a home for our family.”
1.    Share atleast one meal and a prayer
2.    Share any hurt feelings before retiring to bed.
3.    Affirm each other by saying, “I love you, I want you”.

Then, during one of the sessions, a clipping from a documentary by Times Wellness was shown. The name of the documentary is:
“Who the Hell thought about the idea of Marriage?” 
The documentary did give some insight into how couples behave when in a relationship; at the start, everything seems hunky dory, while later on, the very actions of our spouse that attracted us, begins to turn us off!


One of the books recommended to make a good read was:
“The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman
I still have to get hold of a copy of this book!


There were other sessions on Relationship Communication, Conflict Management etc. which were helpful, and gave a good insight into the way we should deal with our issues.

Finally, at the end of the MPC, we had to make a note on what we had learnt from the course.

This is what Hoopoe had to say:
Marriage can be the best thing that can happen to me provided it is continuously worked upon.

This is what I wrote:
I have learnt many ways to deal with conflict. It has made me see our relationship in a new light and it makes me feel that we are truly Blessed to be with each other. Moreover, it has made me realize Hoopoe’s true love for me, now, I believe in it. It also has helped me recognize a number of skills that Hoopoe possesses, which are much better than mine. The biggest lesson that I have learnt is, that, I need to tell Hoopoe exactly what I want and how I feel, and, there is nothing wrong in asking.

-Sweetness

How Hoopoe and I got Introduced?

Our love story can definitely be attributed to today’s technology. Had communication facilities not been made so freely available, I wonder if Hoopoe and I would have been able to build up on our relationship the way we did!

It was in 2006, a week after Easter, Hoopoe came to Mumbai to attend some courses and answer exams. It was then, that, he felt the need of making female friends; maybe just to spend time or probably even on the lookout for a life partner (Hoopoe shared with me, that, generally when a guy is single, he looks for a lady who can probably be his potential soul mate), so began Hoopoe’s hunt on Orkut (at that time, the most widely used friendship site in Mumbai). I received a friend request from him and so did many other girls.

Well, I was surprised to see a friend request, because, not only did I have just about four to five friends on my list, but also, my profile didn’t even have a photograph! I was new to Orkut, and was not quite sure about how it functioned, neither was I too keen on befriending anybody. Back then, my career was a major concern to me, especially, the time that I was losing out on because of my ill health. Nevertheless, I visited Hoopoe’s profile; the first thing I did was a check on his communities and his friend’s list, to know if he is a decent guy! I checked out his profile photo and felt that he was some 36 year old guy, who probably was on the lookout for friends!

He sent me a message thanking me for accepting the invite and I acknowledged the same. And guess what, Hoopoe responds to the reply with a Belated Easter wish. In two days, he was writing long emails to me; I will not forget this one statement in his very second mail which was such a turn off; I quote, “Any way I would love to chat with you.. you seem to be very Interesting Person.. (and believe me.. I have not called many ppl interesting).” Inspite of this idiotic statement, we begun chatting and he asked all about me. I told him about my health and was very sure that when he realises the difficulty, he will lose interest.

But, No!!!! This guy was different; he cared, he wanted to know each and everything associated with my ailment; what, when, how, everything!! He was empathetic, caring, had a sound knowledge and was interested! He wanted to speak with me! After two days of chat, he asked me for my number and I gave it to him(which is so unlike me)! On the very first phone call, he chose to sing an MLTR number, “I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes, love is all around me and the feeling grows…” It was nice hearing him speak and sing, he sounded very nice over the phone, and the care was evident in his speech.

He was decent, caring, interested, an encyclopedia (his caring nature and knowledge made me fall for him). He could speak about anything; Astronomy, Physics, Anatomy, History, Technology… he was like a know it all.

Chats became long and went into the night, after the late night chats which would end about 12:00 or 1:00am, was the telephone conversations that would end at 3:00am to the longest one being from 2:00 to 5:30am. For one month, we literally lived with each other and technology helped us in being ‘virtual living mates’. Back then, I maintained a diary and I wrote about Hoopoe, not even 15 days had gone by since the time he sent me a friend request, but, I already felt I was in love. However, reality never leaves you, and I was aware that once Hoopoe met me in person, he would no longer want to continue being friends with me nor would want to keep it as pure and simple friendship.

We had not met each other, but, about three weeks after I accepted his friend request, Hoopoe told me that he felt he was having a 'crush' on me. I was elated.

Later on, in one of our conversations, I remember telling him, “I want to get rid of my little paunch (since I always dreamt about having a flat stomach and finally I do have one!), which makes me look like a few months pregnant”. Hoopoe’s reply, “No! that’s not a paunch, its our my kid in there!” Gosh! As I recount these incidents, I still blush, although, it occurred about four years ago! You can just about imagine how shocked and yet how thrilled I was reading those words! I don’t quite remember my reply, but, I’m sure, I was diplomatic.

Well, 22nd April, 2006, Hoopoe had sent me a friend request, and, we met for the first time, a month later, on 20th May, 2006. Our first meet in person is a story in itself.

So, Hoopoe, my Archangel, do you remember those long nights of talk and blushes?

- Sweetness

Clothes

The dress and top purchased by my Hoopoe for me on one of our few shopping expeditions together.

However, this experience was a little different from the rest; I was tired and not in the best of spirits/health to walk around the mall; hence, I perched myself on a comfortable sofa and had my Hoopoe shopping for me. Talk about living life king size or should I say queen size?

It was quite a sight to have Hoopoe walking towards me with clothes hanging on his arms and shoulders, seeking for my approval. I wonder how many women must have pitied him, along with the men, or probably many women desired for their man to do that for them, atleast when unwell! It's a great Blessing that Hoopoe enjoys shopping, because, I simply don’t. So, the needed shopping can be looked into by him.

Did I forget to mention that I look lovely in those clothes? Yup, they make me feel good.

Thank you darling, I know that I owe you big time for the care and concern you have for me during my not so good phase in life.

-Sweetness

Sorry For Hurting You

Summer comes year after year,

Just like your tears my dear,

Your wet eyes to sight I fear,

But unlike summer I can stop your tear.

Not a day passes without me thinking,

If you are happy or melancholic and sulking,

Or if your eyes are closed, winking or blinking,

And I wonder if the tears will ever cease flowing.

I can never stop thinking of those pretty big eyes

River of tears that darken your cheeks like dyes

Every drop for the best pearl it vies,

However hard you try, the hurt it never belies.

That sparkling drop, shaped like a pear,

With my palms, I will rub them clear,

Will my touch bring in you the cheer?

I’ll do anything for a glow in your eyes my dear.

Love you Sweetness

Hoopoe

Love Letters (MPC IV)

A love letter themed “Expectations” had to be written by each of us to our partner. It had a structure which needed to be followed which went like:
1. Salutation (which had to include the partner's name, or a name by which we address our partner, and NOT anything vague like "to my dearest, to my love etc etc" unless you address the person "dearest" or "love".
2. State the reason why you chose your partner.
3. State three expectations that you have from the marriage.
4. State two expectations that you have from your partner.
5. Conclude the letter.

So, this was the letter written by Hoopoe to me:

Dear Sweetness,
I love you and I chose you because of the care and warmth I get from you.
I have three expectations from our Marriage:
1. Faithfulness and honesty
2. Care and warmth
3. Pride in the way we live.
I have two expectations from you:
1. Continue being honest with me like you have always been.
2. Assure me when I am down.
Love you darling,
Hoopoe

A love letter based on the same theme written to Hoopoe by me:

My Love,
You make me feel loved, accepted and cared for. I can just be myself with you. I can be honest and express my deepest feelings to you, without any hesitation. I don’t have to put on any behaviour or masks. I do feel your true love for me; you truly are the best for me, my Love.
In our marriage, I dream:
1.    That we constantly grow in our relationship, which makes us better individuals and a great couple.
2.    Both of us jointly work on a project, that fills us with contentment.
3.    That we create a family where love and acceptance abounds.
Two expectations that I would like you to fulfill are:
1.    To look into my eyes with a smile on your face or a wink in your eyes, and, to hold my hand or touch me each time you have the opportunity.
2.    To express your feelings to me, your joy, moments that have touched you, words/ instances that have hurt you.
I love you immensely my Hoopoe.
Yours,
Sweetness

- Sweetness

Pigeons… Dedicated to my Ma!

Pigeons!! That’s what ma calls Hoopoe and me when we are speaking to each other over the phone, or even when we are together. However, she misses our constant chattering with each other, especially, when Hoopoe has to leave for his contracts.

Whenever Hoopoe is at my place, it’s very difficult to find him and me apart; we are together all the time, nearly every second. I have to accept that I don’t give him the freedom to be where he wants to be, or do what he wants to do. My take on the issue is simple, since, you are with me for a few hours/days, might as well spend them with me; else, what’s the point of making such a long travel!

The Day Hoopoe gave me our Commitment Ring!

We apologise to all our readers for editing this post on 23rd March, 2010. For our personal reasons, we felt the need to do so. Thank you for the encouragement and good wishes.

Post Valentine, and memories of the day, on which, Hoopoe slipped the ring onto my finger come flooding back to me.

It was January 11th,’09; I would be meeting Hoopoe after six whole months! While he was away, we went through a lot of ups and downs; minor issues were magnified, and the more hurting emotions just shoved away in silence. Communication was a problem, because as a policy of his company, he could write just about 450 characters per day which cost him a dollar! Speaking over the phone was terribly expensive, and a luxury which we indulged in every fortnight or every month, depending on the kind of voyage orders.

The heart wrenching feeling after a tiff was horrible and unexplainable. It felt better to ignore issues, because, that seemed more manageable as compared to ironing out our differences. I think this is the most painful process in any relationship. Drawing a line between confronting emotions and letting go is a mighty task! It indeed takes heroism to live a beautiful relationship! Allowing negative emotions and feelings fester, destroys the relationship on the long run, while confronting them is agonizingly painful. Dealing with such terrible agony associated with love is truly heroic!

Such were the kind of days we had when Hoopoe was away; nice, not nice and terrible ones! I had to keep in mind that he was away from family and needed to concentrate on his work, because not only his work would suffer, but, his life too was at greater risk. There were some nasty statements that passed between us and they mostly revolved around my health.

To be very honest, it is very difficult to recount the negative feelings and emotions, especially, the ones at which I still hurt and need healing! But, I am aware that expressing them is one way of attaining closure to these feelings.

Being in a wrecked emotional state and having Hoopoe sail through pirate waters a fortnight ago made me more like a person without emotions! I didn’t even know what I was feeling! All I knew is that I wanted to just crash into his arms and stay in that embrace forever; free from emotions, free from any sort of negative feelings… I just wanted love and simplicity in life..

The day dawned, I was anxiously awaiting his arrival; I saw him tugging at his huge suitcase from a distance and my heart was pounding! He was finally coming home to spend time with me after six months! I ran towards the door, held it open and saw him standing there, his eyes overflowing with love for me; I wanted to kiss him and cry to him, I wanted to know why did he make me wait so long for him, however, I could do no more than hugging him, cause I was surrounded with family who were equally ecstatic to have him over.

I was waiting to spend some precious moments alone with him, but, not a chance till noon.

Finally, when everyone was having their nap, we began unwinding up. I still vividly remember my love, just as a passing question asking me, “If I had to propose to you, during this phase, how and where would you want it to be, a candle light dinner or a long night drive or a romantic place or a 5 star setting? What would you prefer?” And all I said was, “Well, we are at such a stage that this seems passé, especially now; since I’m so much in love with you, I would feel like a Princess if you propose to me when we are spending some quiet moments of togetherness, especially at night.”(the most romantic part of the 24 hour cycle to me).

Well Well!! You must be wondering that I probably had butterflies in my stomach hearing what he said, but, that wasn’t the case, cause I always enjoyed teasing him, making him propose a billion times over to me with the most frilly and romantic words, and I would only approve of something that appealed to me the best! And believe me; I never tire of this stuff! I simply enjoy listening to the reasons as to why he wants to spend his life with me. It works wonders for me, especially, the way I feel about myself! So, to me, this was just part of such a stint and not to forget, that, I have been tired of telling him, that I needed a commitment ring (which in my dream world comes before an engagement ring), to me a symbol of commitment for life! We have had many issues over this subject too.

The evening passes off, had my friends over who were on their teasing mode, but, I am a one man’s army, the number of people trying to get at me, barely matters!

Evening passes into night. My family members have retired to sleep and I am preparing myself for a long night snooze. Hoopoe  tells me that he wants to speak to me; we speak mainly about his family; after a while he holds my hand close to his chest and says, “Baby, I need to tell you something, I know this will not sound good, since, I  feel that you are already my wife, but, I need to ask you this question, and I really hope that you don’t mind.”

At this time, my heart sank because I thought, he would tell me something about his parents, and again, I would have to go through all the turmoil that I so detest, I felt exhausted, but, I knew I had to listen! I wished that our sweet little talk never ended and he didn’t have to say what he wanted to…… when suddenly, I hear the words, “Will you marry me?” And there I feel a ring slipping onto my finger!!!!!!!!!!!!

My heart nearly stopped; did I hear him correctly? Does he know what he is doing? Didn’t I make it clear to him that a ring on my finger indicates commitment for life and there is not turning back?…. Thousands of questions flooded my mind, and all I could say was  “Wait”.

I had to clear from my head all those questions before I could accept the ring which symbolized so much to me!

I asked him tons of them which seemed to go on for an eternity, “Will you accept me as I am? Do you realize what are you getting into? Do you know maybe I will not improve? What if I just get worse? How will you manage? What about your parents......?”

After having clarified each and everything with him, I finally said  “Yes”, with my heart bouncing up and down, I fighting back tears, wondering how Blessed I am to be living this life!!!! Gosh! Everything seemed so BEAUTIFUL!

He asked, “Can we get married right now?” I said, “It won’t be correct, because, we neither have a community nor a priest to Bless our marriage”. That’s when he said, “But, Jesus is right here with us, do you need anyone greater than Him?”. I said, “No”.

He took off the ring from my finger and again began slipping it onto my finger with the words, “I Hoopoe (we used our real names) take you Sweetness as my wife; I promise to be true to you and love you in good times and bad, sickness and health all the days of my life; I love you my Angel.” I took off the ring from my finger and slipped it onto Hoopoe’s little finger and pledged my vow in earnest to him.

Suddenly, bing, I just felt that I belonged to Hoopoe, totally and completely. I felt I could completely surrender myself to him physically, emotionally and every possible way; I had no more barriers in mind.

However, since I am the conservative types, not by dress or behaviour, but, definitely by values and principles, I haven’t been able to physically surrender myself to Hoopoe even to this date, cause Marriage to me is a very important sacrament, which I cannot and will not toy with.  The urges to physically give in have been so strong, that I wonder why do I even need to hold back my physical expression of love?!?!?! He is the man I love and I chose him for eternity! However, Hoopoe too is very understanding, he tells me that he would be more than delighted, and infact, craves for that level of physical intimacy, but, he understands my feelings towards the same and respects it.

With the ring back onto my finger, I hugged Hoopoe as tightly as I could for sealing our commitment with each other, and then I broke down into some uncontrollable sob! Happiness, release of emotions, I don’t know what to call it, but, I was in Hoopoe’s arms feeling secure, loved and wanted….

Hoopoe, I need repetitions of such days my love.. I love you darling..

- Sweetness

Marriage Preparation Course III

One of the sessions that touched us was, understanding what love is, and the phases that a couple or an individual experiences, in marriage. It quite often happens that one person is at a different phase as compared to their spouse/partner, and this is when patience and understanding plays a pivotal role.
The three phases described were: Romance, Disillusionment, True Love.

Love was defined as:
Love is a feeling.
Love is a decision.
Love is also an ability.

Priorities in married life, with regards to other family members were highlighted as:
Primary priority – Spouse
Secondary priority – Children
Tertiary Priority – Parents and family

Another session that we liked was, ‘knowing our self’, which comprised of pointers and questions that led to better understanding of our behavioural patterns and the emotional family baggage that we carry.

Psychologists say that every person, at every moment has atleast 20 reasons or things to be happy about.

Another pointer given that I liked was:
If you can love/accept yourself with your negatives, you can do so to the same extent with your partner’s negatives.

We were asked to practice the following every day:
1.    Affirm 10 to 20 things that are great in your partner.
2.    Before retiring to sleep, affirm yourself in areas of love, self-worth and talent.

In yet another session, we were asked to define what Marriage meant to us:

Hoopoe defined it as:
Marriage is a life long promise of my fidelity, love, care, honesty to my partner, in all times good and bad.
It is a word to the Lord that I will take care of His creation and love it just like He does.

I defined it as:
Marriage is understanding, trust, love, fidelity, care; learning about the other, growing together as individuals and as a couple, satisfying each other’s emotional needs and at the same time giving personal space. It is an eternal journey.

Facilitators at MPC defined it to us as:
Marriage is a call to intimacy.
Marriage is a challenge to love deeply your spouse and family.

We had a session on “Growing in Intimacy” in a marital relationship which included:
Intellectual Intimacy
Emotional intimacy
Social Intimacy
Spiritual Intimacy
Physical Intimacy

Later on, we were even given an assignment, on our take on “Money Matters” in our marital life, right from celebration of the wedding to budgeting, investments etc.

In the next post on MPC, I will cover the two activities that touched a chord in our hearts, which we will cherish for a lifetime.

- Sweetness

Holding Hands!

I had and continue having a lovely courtship with Hoopoe. The one thing about Hoopoe that has always been a huge ‘turn on’ for me, are his hands.

I am not quite sure as to the kind of significance his hand holds for me, but, it could be that of comfort, love, security, care, warmth, etc etc. Infact, when Hoopoe had posted a picture of his hand on one of the friendship sites, I took great offense to the same. It’s weird you know, I don’t mind him hugging a person, but, I do feel jealous if he touches a person or holds a person’s hand. Gosh! I sound so possessive, don’t I?

I can just look at the picture of his hand and feel all love pouring out from my heart for him. His hand, his touch is simply magical. It’s firm, yet gentle, steady and comforting, soothing and caring… it’s just so filled with love...

Oh! But you must know this; when he helps me with my exercises, his grip is so tight; that, I feel my blood circulation is cut off! He is terribly scared to move my limbs wrongly, and I quite understand that!

That’s what makes my Hoopoe’s well chiseled hands so desirable!

Telephonic Greeting!

Last evening, Hoopoe went for his medicals and informed me about his low blood pressure 80/60, yet, he was feeling perfect; we tried figuring out what possibly could have gone wrong, and concluded that the cuff of the BP instrument was not wrapped properly around his arm.

Hoopoe knew I was disturbed! So, at night, when we were to retire to sleep and wishing the other goodnight, suddenly, my Hoopoe sings an Eric Clapton for me:

I feel wonderful, because I see
the love right in your eyes,
And the wonder of it all
Is that you just don't realise 
How much I love you!!!!!!

This little paragraph never fails to bring a smile onto my face!

Today morning, no phone call from Hoopoe, it's 9am! I'm worried! I make the call! To my relief, Hoopoe is fit as a fiddle, but, the fear about his low BP in my subconscious mind, did take a toll on me. I was unable to sleep at night and even in the morning was finding it difficult to breathe! I couldn't stop myself, and I broke into tears when speaking to Hoopoe! However, he had to leave for his course, hence, couldn't continue his conversation with me!

A phone call during his tea break, and I was suprised, when he began to sing to me one of our favourites from Elvis Presley, just when I said a 'Hello':

Wise men say, only fools rush in
But, I can't help 
Falling in love with you!

Ohh! This certainly made me feel a thousand times better! Thank you darling!

He enjoys when I sing to him "From this moment" by Shania Twain and "I wanna grow old with you" by Adam Sandler.

We both are bathroom singers, but, that certainly doesn't stop me from teasing my Hoopoe, to sing for me "I wanna grow old with you" on our Wedding Day!

Our Simple Valentine’s Day!

Hoopoe will be home for the weekend, a special weekend cause Sunday is Valentine’s Day. I put on my thinking cap to do my simple best; what better way than to cook up food for him (Hoopoe enjoys cooking and makes real tasty stuff; however, he relishes the food when I cook for him). So, I begin with my cooking well in advance.

I made prawn preserve and bombil chutney for Hoopoe to take along with him (which he left behind), noodles for Friday evening; Kulfi, Choco Lava Cake for Saturday; Prawns Biryani, Prawn Koliwada for Sunday.  Sunday evening, we ordered food for the family and had some lovely Kala Jamun and Malai sandwich for dessert.

Now this apart, what did Hoopoe do for me? Well, he traveled a long distance to spend time with me. Although, his exams are fast approaching, he gave me a lot of his time, just to make me feel special. He made a hugeeeeeee card for me which took a considerable chunk of his studying time and filled it with words that touched me! Also, he gifted me with a book, “Chicken Soup for the Indian Romantic Soul”. He couldn’t get the books I wanted, so he settled for this. I really appreciate the time he takes to understand what I need and if I am okay with it.

This weekend, I realized, the small little things that he does for me, which, over a period of time has become an action of deep and true love for me. Else, how does one explain, that, although, we ain’t married and I live with my family, Hoopoe does all of the following for me?
Each morning, when, he is at my home, he is up first to greet me and wish me a pleasant day. He spoils me by making my bedding.
He cooks the morning breakfast for us, which is Porridge.
During the day, he will remind me about my tablets and the exercise that I need to do, to keep my pain under control. Mostly, he does my simple exercises along with me to keep me company.
He asks me if I need anything to eat or if I am hungry during the entire day.
He stresses on me sleeping at noon, because I need loads of rest for my recovery.
He helps me with my acupressure treatment.
He asks me if there is anything he can do for me, like applying cream, especially, when I’m hurting.
He cheers me up whenever I’m low.
At night, when I sleep, he never forgets to cover me with the bed sheets and have the last talk with me!

I truly feel special!

This Valentine’s day, we spent at home in each other’s company; tickling each other, laughing, dancing, cuddling up, talking sweet nothings, looking into each other’s eyes and simply hugging each other.

The day was not elaborate, however, it was simple, romantic and filled with lots of love; enough to make me realize what true love is and how Blessed I am to have an Angelic Hoopoe with me!

I love you my Hoopoe, and I thank you for being a part of me and my life. I thank you for all the thankless little things that you do for me with the brightest smile and the greatest cheer. I feel loved darling, and time and again, you make me realize that this life is to be lived to the fullest, no matter the kind of constraints that surround you.

Love, again I tell you that the wait to our Marriage gets harder each time you leave and go.

- Sweetness

Marriage Preparation Course II

A book named “Creative Love”, co-authored by Fr. Cajetan Menezes, Mrs. Judy Mendonsa and Dr. Kiran Coelho is brought out by the Snehalaya Family Centre Cell. All participants attending the MPC are given a copy and encouraged to read the same. The book covers the varied dimensions of Marriage and its true meaning, especially in the light of the Catholic Faith. Answers to a number of questions that covers the practical, emotional, intimate and sexual issues connected with Marriage. Explanation of the technique of Creative Natural Family Planning (CNFP) with needed diagrams and charts, as well as, explanation of the fertility cycle of both the sexes. It also has a couple of exercises to know better about yourself, and your relationship. The book makes a good and informative read. It certainly projects not only the Holiness, but also, the true meaning, pleasure and privilege of entering into such a Blessed marital bond.

At the MPC, we were asked to bring with us a notebook, a pen, and the book on Creative Love. The facilitators supplied us with a file, and material containing the pointers of the various sessions that were held. Evaluation of the sessions were conducted at the end of the course. During the period of the course, there were a couple of group discussions with and without one’s partner within the same group; discussions with one’s partner; and individual assessments as well with regards to the meaning of love, marriage, how much we know about ourselves and our partner etc. Handouts were given, as well as a couple of thought provoking audio visuals were shown.

A sheet containing 85 points, which needs to be discussed with one’s partner was also handed over. The participants were requested to cover those points before their marriage. Many of the points mentioned, pertain to the norms of the Indian society, which, if not dealt with, affects the relationship of a couple, especially, those living within Joint families.

The MPC, in the truest sense of the word made Hoopoe and I fall all the more in love with each other. It took our relationship to another level. We literally felt Blessed and made for each other kinds. Every session conducted during the course, helped us not only to understand the other better, but also, understand meaning of marriage in totality.

At the end of the course, and to this date we wish to attend many of the Marriage Enrichment Programs conducted by them. For us, it wasn’t just a course, but, more of an experience and a journey.

And how can I forget, the love songs that were played during every break, which made the atmosphere even more romantic! The hall abounded in love and positivity! That was definitely one of those times, where, Hoopoe and I just couldn’t let go off each other, we constantly wanted the other to be within our frame of vision.

What I totally appreciated was the announcement made at the start of the course:
“Being a part of this course with your partner doesn’t mean you need to go ahead with your marriage, but, rather, an eye opener about your partner, and your compatibility. If you find that there are too many issues and differences, then sort them out before you walk down the aisle, or, if there is absolutely no common ground, it would be better to go your separate ways!”

Valentine's day

The long awaited day has arrived,
Week long preparations to make you feel loved and special.
Not the way I hoped for it to be,
But, my humble attempt at doing the best that I can!

It would be a dream to stay awake with you till the midnight hour,
Welcoming the day while we are basking in our love, in our own tower,
However, both of us need to sleep,
As our bodies have a different love language to keep!

I wait for the day when I will wake up with a kiss, at dawn
And see the sky brighten up as I laze in your arms on the lawn,
Hear the birds sing as I look into your eyes,
And hear your heartbeat when my heart wishes to cry!

Ohh!! My desires are soooo many!!
Love, tell me when will they come to pass?
These simple joys that make life pleasurable,
I yearn for them my darling, at all times desirable!

I pray that Jesus answer's our prayer!

Let this Valentine day mark that special love,
Which we have cherished with the greatest regard,
As we continue making it grow for eternity,
Let our love be our final Destiny!

- Sweetness

Marriage Preparation Course (MPC) I

Hoopoe and I completed our marriage preparation course more than a month and a half ago. It was one of the most beautiful experiences that we have had together as a couple. We can proudly say that we took back with us about 95% of the matter that was presented during the course; held over a period of two days. The reason we could relate to it was, because, I was part of a personal and spiritual development group for nearly two years, conducted by a priest of our parish, now, a close friend of ours. We will call this priest Fr. Deepak. I will cover the activities of our group, and, how it has helped me/us, in some other post.

Hoopoe and I, attended the non-residential MPC course conducted by the team from the Snehalaya Family Centre, held over the weekend. For the course, we were quite a number, 177 in all; the couples were in a majority (of the Catholic faith, interfaith, as well as, a couple from a completely different faith) and a few singles, whose partners were probably residing in a different country.

The facilitators from the Snehalaya team were very good. They knew their matter well, and could give concrete examples, as most of them were experienced with counselling couples. Fr. Cajetan Menezes, the director of Snehalaya Family Centre is simply amazing; lucid speech, very clear about the message he has to convey, zero frills and fancies to his speech, hits the nail straight into the head and quite humourous too. The same can be said about the couple facilitator, Judy and William Mendonsa. There was also Fr. John, who was explaining the Canon Law’s take on marriage, hats off to this priest, he certainly had the attention of the entire group, although, it was Law that he was talking about. Felt informed after his session. Also, there was a deacon who spoke about marriage being a “Covenant”. Then, there was Dr. Kiran Coelho, who gave a gist about the male and female reproductive system, explained the Creative Natural Family Planning (CNFP) technique, and, the various hazards involved with contraception and polygamy.

In the following posts, we will write about a few of the many topics covered, the highlight for us as a couple, and, we will share with you how we felt about the same.

Following is the link to website of the Snehalaya Family Centre, Mumbai.

http://www.snehalaya.in/

Valentine Special!

Fourteenth February is Valentine's day, so they say!
A universal day when love is celebrated the world over.
A day, on which most wish to spend time with their special someone!

True! For us, every day is Valentine's day!
However, it's been four years, and not one of these universal days, we were together!
Let this year be different...
When the earth spins around with love floating around the globe,
Let us celebrate our love for each other!

How do I make this day special for you, I think?!
You asked for a card and a cake
Both of which, I plan to make....
But, what can I say or do to make you feel YOU?!
.
.
.
.
.
Love, expressed through words is the best I can do!

My Hoopoe, my Gundu, I love you,
Because you are simply you!
Your twinkling eyes, your infinite watt' ed smile,
Speaks tons about your heart that beats within me.

My darling, I miss you, yet, I feel your presence too!
I miss your touch, your teddy bear hug,
The grasp of your hand,
And the love pouring out from your eyes!

I always wish to listen and speak to your heart the way I do,
When you are away, let the moon always reflect you
And ofcourse, let Jesus always be an integral part of our love!

Waiting to spend these special moments with you my love!
Want to drown in your eyes and experience the stillness and calm of life!
I love you my darling...
You are mine for eternity...

- Sweetness

Solving numerical and Studying law with Hoopoe

One of our common dreams is to work on a project which involves both of us; this seems to be becoming a reality; not the kind that we had dreamt about, but, for the start, it works for both of us. We made a start to this dream of ours with something simple and beautiful like blogging, as a couple; contributing towards the same blog is a whole new different feeling as compared to maintaining individual blogs. The feeling of “ours” is simply beautiful!

These common desires, that both of us share, have always prompted us to take interest in not only each other hobbies, but also, various activities; it certainly wasn’t easy at the start, because, there were quite a few things that either one of us was totally disinterested in, but, with perseverance, today, the act of participating in the other’s interest has become second nature to us. We always feel the need of knowing how the other is progressing in their given activity.

So, Blessed with this nature as well as the want to continue learning, I found it difficult to keep to myself, with Hoopoe being busy with his coursework. I had to learn something from him; else, I would be restless. He suggested that we sit together and solve a couple of problems which he had planned for, over the weekend. I enjoyed every bit of it; learning new terms, knowing more about his profession, and in general feeling refreshed with a different kind of information!

Well, how could I stop at that! He was surrounded by some thick books, and well, I had to try my hand at that too. So, Hoopoe, happily suggests some sections of law which he needs to learn; himself, being in no mood to understand what was stated, he found it a better option, to have me read the matter and paraphrase it for him. Guess what! I loved doing that too!

Don’t you think it’s a great joy to have dreams coming true, even if it means, in small little ways?

It certainly feels like “Hoopoe the Archangel” has walked into my life to make my dreams a reality… WOWWW !!!

Thank you my darling!

- Sweetness

Things that money cannot buy

Valentines Day is approaching and I can feel that Sweetness is cooking something special for me. It’s difficult for Sweetness to cook, infact it’s extremely taxing for her, but she still does it for me. When I ask her how she manages the pain, all she says is “Love.” It’s now dawned upon me that love is the best analgesic and I learnt it from my beloved.
Sweetness asked me, what I want for Valentines Day and I said “I want a card”. Now the cards of Sweetness are special because she does not believe in buying cards for me, she always makes them on her own. From the time we first met, to this day, every card I received from her is hand made by her and that makes it more valuable than anything money could ever buy. These cards are so precious to me, that I carry them wherever I go and that is why, even now, although I am not at home, I still have got them and have decided to post photographs of some of them. I’m anxious to know, how my Valentines Day card will look like, but I know it will be much better than what I can even imagine. One reason is the warmth of the words that she puts in, it makes me feel so special and so loved that I feel totally humbled by them.
I am one lazy Hoopoe, other than making a few animations during our initial courtship day’s, I have not made anything for her, but rather resorted to buy over the counter gifts. Will this year be different? After all this is our first Valentines Day since we met, four years ago. I am excited to just be with her and I hope my creative juices really flow before the 14th to make her day really special.

I Love you Sweetness

-Hoopoe

Is it just with Hoopoe OR Are men in general the same?

I enjoy having Hoopoe over the weekends because, that is our time together, for fun, laughter, treats and entertainment!

The last weekend was not very different. However, Hoopoe had to get done with some internet stuff for the rental place that he was staying at. He needed certain documents, which, my ma handed over to him and went about with her work.

Five minutes later, I find Hoopoe hunting high and low for something that just seems to have got lost! I asked him what it was, that he was looking for; he said, “The papers given by ma to me”. I told him that he must have put it in his bag. He said, “No’’! I insisted that he should recheck, but, no, he continues searching for the document! Known for my lack of patience, in irritation, I nearly commanded him to check his bag; finally, he gives in…. And there he finds the document close to another one in the book!!!!

Later on, I find him putting money of a high denomination into the pocket of his t-shirt. The t-shirt was not very transparent, but, one could clearly see the denomination of the notes through the t-shirt. So, I tell Hoopoe, “I can see the money right through”. And what does my man do?......  He looks at me with a confused expression, takes out his wallet from the pant pocket, looks at his wallet, looks at me again and asks me, “Baby, how can you see the money through this wallet?!?!?!?!?!?!”

Of course, now I laugh thinking about it, but back then, I was already irritated. So, in frustration, I tell him to turn around and look at himself in the mirror. That’s when he notices the money in his t-shirt pocket and realizes what I was speaking about. He says, “Oh!!!! This Money!!!!!”

My Hoopoe just keeps getting better with his absent mindedness, what say Hoopoe?

- Sweetness

Hoopoe’s passion for Photography! (Or Madness!)

I have come to conclude, that, a woman always faces some kind of competition with regards to the attention she gets from her beau. Speaking about mine; Hoopoe cannot resist the Newspaper, his blog world and Photography. As far as newspaper and blogging goes, I can’t say much, because, that was a pre-determined personal space made known to me quite some time ago. So, that leaves us with photography.

Hoopoe is very passionate about photography. He feels, that, in every photograph, he creates an image of his vision of the world (I truly agree!), may it be a bird, scenery, a child etc. I must admit, that, he has nearly created a portfolio of photographs for my two little nieces.

Speaking about Hoopoe’s passion for photography, I remember a couple of incidents that I wish to share.

We were together at a rocky beach, Anjuna, in Goa, sitting on a rock, on the sands, waiting for the sunset, watching the waves splashing against the rocks, and, enjoying the cool breeze. The particular spot that we were at was quite lonely; other than us, there was another couple, and far off, we could see a small group of friends. We were having a great time, capturing photographs of each other, laughing and simply feeling blessed…..when, all of a sudden! My Hoopoe, hears the chirp of a bird on a tree nearby!!!!…. And that was it!!!! That ended our little stint of romance on the beach!

Hoopoe wanted to photograph the bird, he assumed it would take him no longer than 5 minutes. But, guess what! The little bird had a better plan and kept dodging Hoopoe!
Result: My guy spent 20 minutes or so photographing the tiny chap!  I was left to choose between observing the cute couple romancing with each other, knowing that my beau is busy romancing the feathered species, or continue watching the vast sea!
How unkind can he be!

If that isn't enough, then here is another..

On the same trip, but, on some other day, we were driving down to a waterfall (which doesn’t exist any longer, infact, it is literally non existent since a real long time!) in scorching hot sun; we were passing through fields and crossed a marshy area, when suddenly the car comes to a halt, and, I find Hoopoe hopping off with his camera in hand.

I turned to look where he is headed to, and trust me....... all I could see was an empty barren marshy land!!!! I simply assumed, that, he wished to diversify within the field of photography, probably, documenting the texture of soils in different areas!! Yes, I know how dumb I can be!!
Back in the car; I was suprised at photographs of the birds; birds that he had spotted on the “so called empty stretch”!!!!! I turned around again to look at the birds present… And yet again to no avail, I didn’t spot a single one!!!!!!!!

If that wasn’t enough, then, while returning home, on the very same day, Hoopoe decides to just better the spots at which he halts the car to photograph the delights of his heart.

In Goa, you have to drive through narrow lanes to get to many places around. If not familiar with such kind of drives, one literally begins to hyperventilate; as soon as, one spots a bigger speeding vehicle coming from the opposite end.

So, here we were, driving down home, and surprisingly, Hoopoe halted the car just short of a board; in red, which read, “Accident zone, Drive safely”!!!!! I wondered what was wrong! To my horror, I find my hero out of the car; capturing a picture of the bird that is swaying happily on the electric line!
If that wasn’t enough of a shocker….right then, I see a bus coming from the opposite side….. and….. it just whizzed past me! That was it! I couldn’t take more of this rubbish! I wasn’t ready to lay down my life for the kind of high that he was experiencing with these feathered species! I rolled down the glass of the window, and yelled at him to take me home!
Well, that was the only one time, when Hoopoe didn’t think of photography any further (just for that day, in case you are mistaken) and we drove in silence to our destination.

Right!! And all this while, you were thinking that he was a man without flaws!!!!! NOOOO!! You will learn more about his idiotic behaviour in the coming posts.

- Sweetness

Mute Swans

The image of Swans behind the blog title was captured by Hoopoe around the same time last year, on one of his trips to UK.

It was a very difficult phase that we were going through. Hoopoe, spoke to his parents about our relationship with each other, and they were completely against it. I understand their feelings towards the situation, and since, I am not in the best of health, they are of the opinion that, Hoopoe will be ruining his life if he chooses to lead his life with me.

Well, the situation hasn’t improved much since then; however, Hoopoe has become stronger and more determined about his decision of choosing me as his life partner. The scars and hurt of the trauma are still prevalent; I haven't as yet got emotional closure towards all that pain, and I do breakdown at regular intervals, but, Hoopoe is now present to listen and soothe me.

When I was emotionally distraught, it was then, that, my Hoopoe sent this picture to me with the words, “Good morning Sweety pie, this picture reminds me a lot about us. I had plans of writing words within the heart shape, but, did not want to spoil the beauty of the picture. I love u darling”.

Bedroom Nights

This is my first post for our blog and I am a bit nervous as I go about typing this post; it’s not that I am blogging for the first time, but, it’s my command over the language that is making me nervous.
Sweetness is better than me, so, as I type beside her posts, I feel like a kindergarten kid writing footnotes to Shakespeare’s  plays. Therefore, please forgive me on this front, because language is not my cup of tea ( but thankfully, I can  still maintain my freedom of expression!) .

My relationship with Sweetness has helped me to grow up in an emotional way. Although, I was growing in size and intellectually, it is only after I met sweetness at the age of 26, four years ago, that, I began growing emotionally and spiritually too. For most part of these four years, our relationship has been a long distance one (LDR) and obviously we have spent a lot of time on the telephone, chats and e-mails. Currently, I spend my weekends with Sweetness, while the weekdays are spent with her over the phone. We spoke and continue to speak a lot over the phone; we have had a lot of conflicts and issues with regards to this too. However, the one that occurred last night is a classic.

For Sweetness, and now for me too, the most romantic time to speak over the phone is just before we could retire to sleep; lying in our beds with the lights off, after about 10 PM. Unfortunately, for me, this ambience is also a call to fall asleep! No matter how good and loved I feel, my brain simply refuses to listen to my heart. Unlike Sweetness, I can fall asleep within a minute of my head hitting the pillow; this has caused a lot of heartache to Sweetness, because she misses out on the romantic talk.

Last night was no different, history repeated itself; I was struggling to stay awake and speak romantically too, both at the same time. Sweetness realizes my dilemma, and asks me to sit up, stand, walk around etc. After having done that, and back in bed, it’s not only hard to get up again, but also, my sleep dutifully returns back in a much greater intensity than before. The worst of all is me trying to explain to Sweetness, certain phrases that are irrelevant to the conversation we are having, that have cropped up because, I  blurted them out while dozing off to sleep.

An example of our late night conversation:
Sweetness : “ How much do you love me?”
Me: “Lots”
Sweetness: “ How much is lots?”
Me: “From one end of …… the.. “Terrace is falling” universe..”

Now, for the next painful 5 minutes which seem like an hour, I have to explain to her, why did I make a  mention of the words “Terrace is falling” ( which of course I said in my 1 sec long sleep!!!!!)???

Although, I tell sweetness, that, I want to sleep; she simply can let go off me and pushes me to spend that extra few minutes with her. Now, it so happens that my brain too is pushing hard on the sleep throttle and simply stops processing any information coming to it. Well, how do I describe this to Sweetness?!?!?!?!

Llike love, sleep too has no units that can be measured, however, I wish some one had devised a way to measure it. Sweetness does relent to my sleepy head with a heavy heart, a feeling of little hurt and lots of “MISSINGS” . Now, I don't know if this is good or bad, but, for that period of time, my brain blocks all emotions and processes it only the next day!


Next Morning 7 AM:  I dial Sweetness' number, the phone rings... she attends it..
Sweetness: “ Hello (in a sullen note)”
Me: “ Sorry Baby…”
Sweetness : “Hmmmmm”

-Hoopoe

Eating habits… yup, mine is a disorder!

I don’t seem to understand how both my mother and Hoopoe gobble down their food without chewing it! Their action of putting food into their mouth is continuous, there isn’t any chewing time. However, my ma still takes some reasonable amount of time to finish off her food, but, Hoopoe finishes off his meal in five minutes flat, which would include second and third helpings too. You think I’m exaggerating!!!!!! Heck... No!!!!!!

I find it more appropriate to look at him eating his food, and then start with mine; else, when eating with him, I feel I’m slower than the slowest eating mammal existing on this planet! Contrary to my Hoopoe, I take one whole hour and a half to get done with my breakfast. I know that’s too much off time!

Well, I would like to believe that I have shrunken intestines, which make eating a little difficult for me. I have kept myself starving during my college education, repercussions of the same which I continue facing. You see, I weigh just 39 kgs (I know I’m terribly underweight) and, trying my best to eat well, so as to increase my weight. Now, that I feel I’m eating well, they say, I have a liver which is not functioning to its capacity, making assimilation of food difficult!! What am I supposed to do!!

Gosh!!! I tire of listening to the same thing all the time... “You have to eat well to get well, you need muscle strength to get your limbs moving”.

You can just about imagine the contrast, him; tall and plump at 86kgs, while me; short and skinny!

But that’s us! Hoopoe (my sack) and Sweetness!

- Sweetness